In Mexico we have many American products. We love the imported clothes, cars, electronics, groceries, and food chains. The packages are bigger, brighter, their displays are much wittier, and their warning tags are not only enormous, but hysterical, and sad.

Who would of thought that my wife shouldn’t blow dry her hair in the shower or scissors were not made for eye contact? I am thrilled they prewarned me about the dangers of drinking Drain-O and that McDonald’s coffee and food taken out of the microwave after 12 minutes tends to be hot. I would have never known I shouldn’t attempt to iron clothes on my body, stop a chainsaw with my hand, or use ICY HOT internally had it not been for those special words of wisdom. Thanks to those warnings my three kids are healthy and thriving as I no longer allow them to ingest batteries, use plastic bags as headgear, ride their bikes in the highway, or use beachballs for flotation safety devices when swimming in the deep blue ocean. I was angered and disheartened, my Halloween dreams were crushed upon finding the cape that came with my stylish XXL Superman costume will not actually allow me to fly.

Products are now tagged with large warning signs, but can an entire business be labeled? Is it possible to have each client sign a responsibility waiver before entering the premises? There are site’s on internet that will actually show you how and assist you in your lawsuit against any Wal-Mart in the United States, they even request you post your winnings on their site. Be careful with Mother Nature as well in the U.S., as many citizens are unaware snow and ice may be slippery and roads tend to get water on them when it rains.

I have been seeing non-stop news updates on the United States Supreme Court’s pending tobacco verdict. Originally I was unaware of the appeal and thought I had missed an important world occurance; after reading a few headlines, I saw I hadn’t missed a thing with exception to another round of plain stupidity.

I know many have become ill and died due to smoking, but can anyone who smokes honestly say that they had no idea of the risks involved in their habit? I’m not an English language expert, but I’m pretty sure the word light does not mean non-existant, healthy, or miraculous; it only means less of something; no references are made to how much less. I could say I am lighter than a sumo wrestler, am I a waif? If I tell you I feel light headed, are you to assume I have been beheaded, or maybe just a little bit beheaded? Is light kiddie porn no longer kiddie porn? Smoking is bad. Period. Everyone knows it; I’m not trying to make light on the realities and facts, or the lives lost, but if I were, would they be negated? Would I only be giving less importance to them or by making light would I cause them to cease to exist?

It must be a horrific daily struggle to try to not only operate but maintain a business in the United States, you must find a way to market and sell to gain profit while at the same time covering your ass from customers who are also looking to make profit from your gains. It may be the only country where stupidity, of course combined with greedy lawyers, can provide very luxurious lifestyles to all involved, except the businesses.How can the system be so punishing and ridiculous?

In Mexico we don’t see things like that. If you trip you were careless, if lightening strikes you while having a Big Mac, it’s God’s will, not McD’s negligence. McDonald’s also isn’t at fault for not putting a large red BEEF disclaimer on it’s cheeseburgers, so if you ate one thinking it was vegan soy, you’re probably going to hell. If you burn yourself after pulling a PYREX casserole dish from your oven after 2 hours, choke on an Energizer AAA battery, lose a hand while cleaning the blades of your running John Deer lawnmower, or lose an eye while playing with a Bic pen, YOU DON’T GET PAID; maybe a slap on the back for the hearty chuckle you’ve provided, and a few “DUMBASS OF THE WEEK” media headlines, but no dinero . You could go through litigation with a non-mometary suit to request warning tags be placed on the product, but it may take a while, for I’m sure Mexico will place more importance on the construction of a direct pipeline to pump icewater for the needy in Hell, before your case would even be viewed.

If you come here, to beautiful Mexico, don’t even try it, you’re more apt to find yourself in a Mexican jail charged with attempted extortion, where you’ll have lots of time to try to dream up more ways of squeezing an unearned buck out the system; while bunking with Crazy Paco. Truth be told, Mexico’s not known to pay anyone very well; They definitly won’t be producing any large payouts to you for simply being stupid. In my country acts of stupidity are priceless, but unfortunatly, non-payable.