You might think I’m joking, but I’m not, here in Mexico, if you’re not careful, you might just find your ass in jail, literally. If you don’t happen to have an ass, the same rule applies to dogs, cows, goats and any other four legged, domesticated or non-domestic animal.

You heard right, in Santiago Miltepec, Oaxaca, an ass has been arrested and thrown in a dank, dark mexican clink for: (hold on to your seats ladies and gentlemen, may I have a drumroll Maestro please) EATING A NEIGHBORS GERANIUMS.

In order for the ass (who by the way, must haven read up on his Mexican constitutional rights and has plead ‘the 20th’ refusing to state his or his owners name as well as any other info which might be self incriminating)to be released his owner must come forward and pay a fine of between $30 and $50 pesos. It’s now been almost five days and to date, no one has come forward looking for their ass.

Apparently a new law came into effect(which was announced over the town’s P.A. system) warning citizens to watch their animals as any animal found unattended would be taken directly to jail. Word has it, the town cop raid proved effective as it ridded the streets of not just an ass, but also a menacing beast of an ox known for stalking the town corn. (The evil ox by the way has just been parolled after his owner paid a $30 peso fine.)

So, there you have it folks, straight from Mexico, a donkey arrested for ASS-AULTING a neighbors yummy geraniums. Go figure, if you’re a narco, you’ll most likely never see the inside of a cell, but if you’re a big geranium eating ASS, you better count the days, because in Mexico, we don’t play around. The law is the law, no matter who you are or how many hooves you have.

“Around here, if someone commits a crime they are jailed, no matter who they are.”