Have you any idea why we are searching your vehicle? Do you know why your American visa has been canceled? Do you understand why you’re being fined $15,264 U.S. dollars? Let me tell you: It’s because you are STUPID!

Customs officials say they seized 343 pounds of sea cucumbers at a San Diego border crossing as smugglers tried to bring the Asian culinary delicacy into the U.S. from Mexico.

Inspectors found the undeclared sea cucumbers Sunday afternoon in a minivan at the San Ysidro port of entry.

Customs and Border Protection spokeswoman Jackie Dizdul says the oblong marine animals were hidden in the luggage of two Chinese citizens, a 51-year-old man and his 24-year-old son.

The two were fined $15,264, and their U.S. visas were canceled.

Dizdul says all imported food must be declared, especially large quantities intended for commercial use.-AP

I have to admit, when I read this news article I damn near laughed my ass off. First off, I envisioned the two Chinese gentlemen waiting in traffic on one the busiest land border in the world.

As they near the border patrol checkpoint, they begin to sweat a bit; immidiately the guard notices. He asks them simple questions, they answer with contradictive stumbling tongues. The border guard flags their minivan and calls in the dogs, the minivan is rushed into a search lot.

As the dogs walk round and round, the two Chinese gentlemen, father and son, continue to fret until they can resist no longer. They have cracked, they want to confess. The border patrol guard calls in witnesses to capture the confession of what is sure to be an impressive bust, once they arrive, the interview begins:

Border patrol: Are you two gentlemen carrying illegal weapons or drugs on your persons?

Father and son: No sir.

Border patrol: Are you trafficking any arms, drugs, or persons? (Surely there is a connection to these two Chinese men and the amount of illegal Chinese immigrants being found in the U.S. lately)

Father and Son: No Sir

Border Patrol: So you have no drugs, arms, or illegal immigrants: So WHY the hell are you two so nervous?

Father and Son: We have Chinese Delicacies in our luggage?

Border Patrol: You have Chinese what in your where?

Anyways, you get the picture.. Dumb, Dumb, Dumb.

First of all, this isn’t the first time Chinese have been caught trying to steal our turtles, sea cucumbers, and what not. I think we need stricter laws to show them here in Mexico Chinese sea cucumber thief impunity simply doesn’t exist.

Second, your crime was not wanting or taking sea cucumbers from Mexico and trying to pass them into the U.S. ...You crime was gluttony. Why the hell did you need 343 lbs of sea cucumber? That’s a whole hell of alot of plates of delicacy, no?

And lastly, if you really wanted to cross the sea cucumbers, all 343 lbs of them stuffed in your luggage, you should have just lied and said you were carrying opium poppies, you would have been passed right through the U.S. border...Dumb, Dumb, Dumb.