As Mauricio Fernandez Garza took the stage to be sworn in for the second time as the mayor of one of Latin America’s most wealthiest communities a broad smile crept upon his face.

Not only was he thrilled to be taking the Presidential reigns of San Pedro Garza Garcia, Nuevo Leon, once again, but he had an announcement to share: Hector ‘El Negro’ Saldaña was dead; executed in Mexico City.

To understand the importance of his statement and the mayhem which followed, I’m going to have to backtrack a bit.

Fernandez Garza upon winning the San Pedro mayoral election in July gave, in a very publicized statement, a stern warning to the person or persons who’d been wrecking havoc in a once tightly secured San Pedro: You have no place here, get out before I take office, or else. He announced his personal assembly of a highly experienced ‘clean up crew’ and intell network and made it very clear that upon taking office San Pedro would be rid of kidnappings and extortions, one way or another.

Lo van a entender, por las buenas o por las malas: no vamos a aceptar ningún tipo de secuestro en San Pedro Garza García y si no, lo pagarán con su propia cara.

They (the criminals) will understand, by any means necessary: We are not going to accept kidnapping of any kind en San Pedro Garza Garcia, and if they don’t, they will pay with their own flesh.
- Mayor Mauricio Fernandez Garza

Saldaña, the now dead man, had made a name for himself and his crew as an up and coming ‘independant’ cell of kidnappers and extortioners hell bent on taking over San Pedro after his previous Beltran Leyva Cartel boss, Hector La Burra Huerta, was arrested.

He was a egotistical who showed no sign of fear or being captured. He was known for driving thru town in a yellow Lamborghini Murcielago dropping loads of cash on pretty girls and pricey boutiques. El Negro just happened to be the same man who was reportedly responsible for 2-3 kidnappings a week, extorting San Pedro businesses up to $100,000 per month, and offering a hefty reward to the person or persons who delivered him the head of Fernandez Garza.

Now I’ve given you the history of the Mayor and the Murdered, let’s talk about the mayhem. This is where it gets movie-like. Remember I told you Fernandez Garza announced the death of El Negro during his inaugural address? What I didn’t tell you at the time was his announcement was made 4 hours before the D.F. police found four bodies in a Nuevo Leon tagged S.U.V. and 2 days before those same four bodies were identified.

Officials in Mexico City said they had identified on Monday the four bound bodies found in a sport utility vehicle over the weekend with hand-lettered messages identifying El Negro, his brother, half brother, and another man as kidnappers.

Investigators said three of the men had “Kidnapper” written on their backs with a marker. A sign also was left in the vehicle reading “For kidnapping, the Boss of Bosses,” which is a nickname for alleged drug lord Arturo Beltran Leyva.

Another sign found in the vehicle Saturday read “Job 38:15,” a reference to a biblical verse that says: “The wicked are denied their light, and their upraised arm is broken.” It was reported that El Negro was the only of the four to have been tortured prior to death.

So what do you think, Did the new San Pedro rogue clean up crew start work ahead of schedule or did Mayor Mau simply have a Nostradamus moment?

Have you any idea why we are searching your vehicle? Do you know why your American visa has been canceled? Do you understand why you’re being fined $15,264 U.S. dollars? Let me tell you: It’s because you are STUPID!

Customs officials say they seized 343 pounds of sea cucumbers at a San Diego border crossing as smugglers tried to bring the Asian culinary delicacy into the U.S. from Mexico.

Inspectors found the undeclared sea cucumbers Sunday afternoon in a minivan at the San Ysidro port of entry.

Customs and Border Protection spokeswoman Jackie Dizdul says the oblong marine animals were hidden in the luggage of two Chinese citizens, a 51-year-old man and his 24-year-old son.

The two were fined $15,264, and their U.S. visas were canceled.

Dizdul says all imported food must be declared, especially large quantities intended for commercial use.-AP

I have to admit, when I read this news article I damn near laughed my ass off. First off, I envisioned the two Chinese gentlemen waiting in traffic on one the busiest land border in the world.

As they near the border patrol checkpoint, they begin to sweat a bit; immidiately the guard notices. He asks them simple questions, they answer with contradictive stumbling tongues. The border guard flags their minivan and calls in the dogs, the minivan is rushed into a search lot.

As the dogs walk round and round, the two Chinese gentlemen, father and son, continue to fret until they can resist no longer. They have cracked, they want to confess. The border patrol guard calls in witnesses to capture the confession of what is sure to be an impressive bust, once they arrive, the interview begins:

Border patrol: Are you two gentlemen carrying illegal weapons or drugs on your persons?

Father and son: No sir.

Border patrol: Are you trafficking any arms, drugs, or persons? (Surely there is a connection to these two Chinese men and the amount of illegal Chinese immigrants being found in the U.S. lately)

Father and Son: No Sir

Border Patrol: So you have no drugs, arms, or illegal immigrants: So WHY the hell are you two so nervous?

Father and Son: We have Chinese Delicacies in our luggage?

Border Patrol: You have Chinese what in your where?

Anyways, you get the picture.. Dumb, Dumb, Dumb.

First of all, this isn’t the first time Chinese have been caught trying to steal our turtles, sea cucumbers, and what not. I think we need stricter laws to show them here in Mexico Chinese sea cucumber thief impunity simply doesn’t exist.

Second, your crime was not wanting or taking sea cucumbers from Mexico and trying to pass them into the U.S. ...You crime was gluttony. Why the hell did you need 343 lbs of sea cucumber? That’s a whole hell of alot of plates of delicacy, no?

And lastly, if you really wanted to cross the sea cucumbers, all 343 lbs of them stuffed in your luggage, you should have just lied and said you were carrying opium poppies, you would have been passed right through the U.S. border...Dumb, Dumb, Dumb.

In Juarez, murders in that city now top 2,000.

On Dia de los Muertos, entire families tidy up tombs and take time to celebrate the lives of those they’ve lost.

The number of minors swept up in Mexico’s drug wars — as killers and victims — is soaring, with U.S. and Mexican officials warning that a toxic culture of fast money, drug abuse and murder is creating a “lost generation.”